literature

.::UlquixHime::.Forever Yours

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"All my life

I had it figured out

That I loved someone else

Never thought everything would change

'Cause I love you now

Like I never thought before

Never thought I'd care for you..."

Looking in the endless depths of your eyes, I didn't think you had any feelings. How could someone who kills so unflinchingly? You were cold, merciless, and if I could put any name to the feelings you conveyed, it was always boredom or emptiness. Even when you said you were annoyed, everything about you was blank. How could I learn to feel anything for someone like you?

I found it ironic, for the longest time, how there were tears stained on your ashen face, since you seemed to portray no visible emotion at all. Yet those tear marks, and the expression chiseled on your features always seemed to convey sadness.
At first I had no choice but to be around you, though I interacted with you as little as I could. Even though you demanded my complete obedience, for the sake of that man called Aizen…I was as distant as I could manage. I said my words of complete servitude to him without any feeling, although it wasn't that easy at first. After such times I used to break down into tears, staring out the barred window of that desolate room…watching the moon, and keeping a thread of hope alive in my heart.

Somehow, thinking about my friends, how they were safe and out of harm's way gave me the will to keep living. Of course, back then I thought of Ichigo more than anyone…I thought I was in love with him, until things slowly started to change.
As months seemed to crawl by, my perspective on my feelings for Ichigo made me realize, that what I had felt wasn't love…just friendship and infatuation all twisted together. I began to realize this after things slowly started changing in that isolated new home of mine.

Maybe you didn't notice it either at first, the way you spoke to me or the way your stone-cold face gradually gave way to showing some signs of feeling. At first you would speak to me harshly, doing your best to provoke me if you could, and it worked sometimes too. Your expression was always blank, and I found it infuriating how you showed no sign of remorse, not even flinching when I struck you for sounding so certain that my friends wouldn't survive when they came to rescue me.

But your emotionless attitude gradually began to change. I didn't realize when it happened, since it changed so slowly, yet something changed right away because I immediately responded to it. Your bored and cold voice became softer, tinged with something almost like gentleness. And the way you would look at me, your features began to show sadness, surprise, even the smallest hints of caring for something…or someone outside of yourself.

I grew up always believing the best about others unless I was proven wrong, so I believed most beings were capable of being good-hearted, even if they weren't human. Obviously, I knew as soon as I saw you and others like you that you weren't human, for you retained a human form yet had such obvious signs of being a Hollow instead. I knew I didn't like you the moment I first saw you, for your comrade had injured my friends, and later you didn't hesitate to kill men who were escorting me between worlds. I believed with all my heart that you were never to be trusted, that you were cold and cruel and I could never understand you.

Yet after months of being around you, I found myself so confused. Why was it that I saw expressions on your face and heard tenderness in your voice? Was my mind just making that up because I was starved for human interaction?

But my eyes and ears didn't deceive me. I knew this for sure from the moment you asked me, with complete seriousness in your voice,

"Are you afraid of me...?"

And I knew, from that moment and every moment afterward, that there was no way I could be afraid of him. I wondered if he meant it as a challenge, but as I saw his piercing green stare while he brushed his fingers up my collarbone and across my face, it became clear to me. He truly wanted to know for sure, if I could trust him.

That was the first time he ever touched me. I began to long for his touch, to crave it even. And even though his blanched skin looked cold, it was soft and had a slight warmth.

He began to visit me in graveyard hours of the evening, lying beside me on a couch which was one of the sparse furniture in my isolated room. He would simply cup my face with his hands as we lay there in silence. Since he was the one appointed to look after me, I would have no choice but to comply with whatever he chose to do…however I knew by now that he wouldn't force me to do something I was not comfortable with. He would just hold my face between his hands or occasionally put his arms around my waist, as we both lay there silently.

He rarely had anything to say, unless he was informing me of news of the outside or giving me orders from Aizen. And he remained cold and emotionless whenever others were around us. But when we were alone, he learned to drop his guard around me. I didn't mind that he rarely spoke to me though, I was just glad that someone kept me company, and that he would touch me softly as we lay together. At first, I was nervous and stayed awake for the hours he spent with me, but eventually I'd find myself falling asleep, only waking briefly as he shifted off the couch and wrapped a white blanket around me that he brought from his quarters.

At first I wondered if he would ever sleep, but once I caught him snoozing next to me. Somehow, I found it adorable, for he never completely dropped his guard unless he was asleep. He would always be sitting up, but slouched over halfway, with his normally tamed hair tousled out of place and his mouth slightly open. His expression was never as peaceful as when he was asleep, and I found that he often looked rather troubled by comparison while he was awake. I just barely stoked his face with feather-light fingertips.

Then, things really began to change when I timidly gave him a quick kiss before he left one day. At first he looked almost shocked, but then something near a smile crossed his lips as he left without a word.

But afterwards when he visited me, he began spending even more time lying next to me, and after my shy attempt he didn't hesitate to give it a try himself. It wasn't long before I'd find myself breathless while he bombarded me with kisses, far more passionate than his cool demeanor let on. He had a seemingly voracious appetite, as his attempts became more and more steamy. He especially loved grabbing my lower lip between his teeth, nipping at them and kneading them with his tongue. It wasn't long before my delicate lips became black and blue, though I enjoyed every moment of it, and I found it somehow humorous when he began slipping me lip-colored lip balm so no one would become suspicious.

Then, I found the first bits of freedom not long after from that dismal room. He began sneaking me to his quarters when he was sure everyone else had retired for the night, and always brought me back before the crack of dawn, even carrying me there if he had to. He didn't really seem to mind though, even though I wouldn't ask how he was feeling. He always seemed to show me just enough through his black and green features.

Whenever I ended up in the huge set of rooms belonging to him, I found things became amazingly thrilling. I wish I could describe it all in detail…but let's just say he began taking me on rides I could never forget. The pleasure I found became almost unbearable…to think, a man I once nearly hated had captured the most precious parts of me…my heart included.

I'm sure Aizen found out about it at some point, for I knew nothing could get past him. But for whatever reason, he chose to keep silent on the subject. He would eye me and Ulquiorra every once in a while when I was summoned with a knowing smirk, but that was all I ever knew of.

Things truly began to change not long afterwards though, less than a week after Ichigo and my other friends infiltrated Hueco Mundo...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"All My Days

Seeing and Hearing Nothing

Only Black Emptiness

Until You Came Around

I Convinced Him to have Me Find You

And Now That You're Here

I Can't Think Of Life

Being Any Other Way..."

There is little for me to explain.

At first I took an interest in this Girl for two reasons. The first was quite obvious. Her abilities were unique, and I thought she may be useful to Aizen-sama, or at least may be a useful lure for any traps Aizen-sama would undoubtedly think of.

The second reason was far more obscure. Not only her abilities, but her attitude, physical persona and tenaciousness were rather unusual...and enticing even, for a human. I found myself inexplicably drawn to her right away, though at first I never let that get in the way of my duty to Aizen-sama.

However, after she changed into that appealing garment and lived in Hueco Mundo for some time, I found I let my guard down around her more often than ever before. As long as I had lived, as a lowly Hollow and as an Espada, I had never been able or been willing to do such a thing. Though I had once called her "trash" to my less-than-intelligent comrade, my real opinion of her couldn't have been farther removed. I simply wanted him to take no interest in the girl.

I suppose what I had done, in convincing Aizen-sama to have her taken, was little more than selfish when I think back on it. This became even more apparent when I was appointed to watch her at all times. I literally had her all to myself, and could do with her as I pleased. However, I found force was the worst possible way to go about getting what I wanted with her.

At first when my behavior changed around her, and I found myself speaking gently and letting my guard down around her, I convinced myself it was all out of my own selfishness. I simply needed to get her to do what I wished in the easiest possible way, and also do whatever I needed for the sake of Aizen-sama.

But when I ended up visiting her on odd hours of the night, lying next to her, touching her and even falling asleep by her side, I knew it couldn't possibly be pure selfishness. It became obvious that she enjoyed the nightly sessions too, and what prisoner would truly enjoy their captive? I began to question myself and my motives, but ended up letting my defenses slip away, and though we rarely spoke to one another, she was soon able to read me easily.

I'm not sure what seized me to bring her to my quarters later on. Her advances towards me were so shy, but like nearly everything I took it seriously and gave her far more than I think she imagined. The same was true when I brought her to my spacious bed. Details are unnecessary, it should be obvious what we did and the mechanics of it…I found that she became quite addicted to those "visits," and I found myself rather absorbed in them as well. I also became rather talkative afterwards, and even if she had become sleepy from the ordeal, I ended up confiding many things with her that I said nothing about to anyone else.

The second or third time this had happened, I needed to confirm something with her.

"You are aware that when your friends arrive here, I will treat all of them as enemies, aren't you?"

She was tired again and looked reluctant to speak of this, however she nodded, and a somewhat guilty look crossed her face.

"I won't show them any mercy. Just because you care for them, I cannot let that change what will transpire. I may likely kill them as well."

"Please...stop talking that way!" Orihime said, the guilt becoming even more obvious in her eyes.

"I'm only speaking the truth. You just need to be ready to bear it. I realize it won't be easy," I tried to sound sympathetic, though I knew nothing of companionship other than her. "But it may come to that, Inoue."

She still looked guilty, but she slowly nodded again. "...Yes, I have become aware of that Ulquiorra."

"You know I would rather not bring up something this painful to you...however, I need to know, in light of that, are you still willing to do this with me?" I asked seriously. "Do you still truly want to lie with and sleep with me? I would understand if not, for this is rather risky anyway..."

Orihime's expression suddenly turned incredulous.

"I know there are risks involved, but it was your idea first, right? And I know you are obligated to see my friends as your enemies...I know that you have your duty towards Aizen," she began, "But don't you see that I've already made this choice anyway? I've thought of this already...I have plenty of time to think in that bare room. It won't be easy to see you fighting others I also care about, but I already made my choice."

  And although she looked guilty before, now she gazed at me with firm resolve.

"Hmm...you never cease to surprise me…Inoue," as my kisses trailed down her neck.

"It's a price I'm willing to pay," Orihime said, only slightly distracted, "It's
meaningless to regret it..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Not long afterwards, Aizen-sama spoke with me privately.

"I am aware that you have been having your fun with the girl. It's fine, and you can do with her as you will whenever I don't need her, just be sure to keep her in her room at all other times and don't let anyone else find out. You recall the females that tried beating her up," I seethed inwardly as my thoughts flashed to them, and Aizen-sama smiled thoughtfully. "We can't have any fits of jealousy of course. But all is well and there's no need to worry. Continue with your usual duties and carry on." He waved his hand to make it clear I was dismissed.

I formally bowed with the usual "Yes, Aizen-sama," and left, and found before I left that the fox-like Captain was wearing a more disturbing grin.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I knew there were risks from the beginning of this tumultuous affair...and I knew before he spoke with me about it that we would have to keep this a secret from everyone. The other Espada would react with a combination of suspicion, prying curiosity, or outright rage and jealousy, depending on who they were. Of course Aizen couldn't have such dissention among his ranks, so he spoke privately with Ulquiorra, or so I heard.

It seemed that everyone was truly clueless about it, outside of Aizen and the other two captains. However they only displayed feigned amusement or were otherwise indifferent about it.

And I could barely begin to imagine how my friends would have reacted. 'Don't you realize he's the enemy?!' I can imagine Rukia or Ishida speaking like that. And Ichigo...he would probably be shocked beyond words, but I can't imagine how he'd react beyond that.

However despite all this, I found more and more reasons to fall in love with Ulquiorra, and each reason wiped out any hints of doubt.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One day I was treated to something amazing. Instead of taking me to his quarters, Ulquiorra led me out of the corridors, and then using Sonido he took me just outside of Las Noches.

"I want to show you something," he said, slight hesitance in his voice.

He stood a few yards away from me, and then I was overtaken with reiatsu I never felt before. It was related to Ulquiorra's normal reiatsu, but felt somehow darker, overwhelming and far heavier.

As he drew his sword and murmured "Enclose, Murcielago," he briefly transformed into what I thought was his released form, his mask turning into something like a crown with horns, his white robe becoming longer and his tear marks turning black and thicker. His hands became decorated with long, stripe-like black fingernails and his sword turned into a glowing spear. His hair also became far longer and two huge bat-like wings sprouted from his back.

But no sooner had he transformed when his form changed again, as the whites of his eyes turned dark green and his irises turned bright yellow. His crown-like mask became simply two long horns, and his feet turned into black talons, the black feather-like fur extending up to his waist, and his arms and hands were also black and talon-like. His robe disappeared completely and a huge stain like black blood extended below the even larger hole in his upper chest. He also now had a long black whip-like tail. His huge black wings seemed somehow even more menacing, yet as he looked at me I could tell he was looking for signs of approval.

"...This is my Resurreccion form...I suppose it could be called my true form," he watched me closely. "...I haven't shown this form to anyone before, and I'm sure it's quite menacing. I wouldn't be surprised if you are too shocked to say anything..."

I'm sure I looked shocked, but I kept it in check as he said those words and slowly walked up to him. The power of his reiatsu was practically deafening as I struggled to stand up straight, and as he noticed this he let it up to its minimum effect, though it still had quite the presence. I slowly looked him over, and finally placed a hand on his cheek.

"...If this is your true form, how could I possibly be too shocked to say anything?" I smiled. "You still have that same sweet face."

"But aren't you still afraid? It surely is an overwhelming presence..."

I shook my head and kept my smile. "I told you before, Ulquiorra...I couldn't possibly be afraid of you."

Something like contentment crossed his sharpened features, and he closed his eyes and slowly wrapped his arms around me. His huge wings became a warm shield, encircling me and bringing me even deeper into his embrace.

"That's all I needed to hear," he whispered as he kissed me softly.

Although no one else may ever know, his questioning my fear was really reconfirming my feelings...an odd way of saying I loved him.

For trust and love are one in the same…and no one can trust whoever they fear.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It all happened in such a strange way...like it was all slow-motion, yet it all transpired in an instant.

I was focused on my opponent...Kurosaki Ichigo. Yet I found myself silently distracted by her presence. We had already promised one another that no one else would know of the feelings we had shared all those months. I found myself hopelessly bound to that promise, pretending to not care at all for her as pathetic female Arrancar went after her and saying nothing as Yammy asked if he could kill her. I only tried striking Kurosaki even more to release some of my seething anger, though I remained expressionless as always. I tried telling myself that Inoue could take care of herself, even though I knew I wanted to be the one to protect her...yet feigning indifference proved more difficult than I first imagined, as even Kurosaki noticed I was more talkative when addressing her.

Everything quickly escalated afterwards, and I led Kurosaki outside partly because of the rule to protect Hueco Mundo, but also because I didn't want her to see what I would undoubtedly do to Kurosaki in my released state, since we were so obviously mismatched. However, when she did show up as I was about to deliver the final blow I played the "evil part" as I demonstrated to her the slaughter of one of her dearest friends.

I could hardly keep up my charade, as she had become in tatters emotionally ever since that regretful moment. I regretted putting a hole through Kurosaki for more than one reason...since that along with Inoue's cries seemed to trigger a staggering transformation in him.

I remember little of the fight afterwards, I simply became numb as I succumbed to what suddenly became my inevitable fate. As he fired real Ceros at me and chopped off my arm, I nonchalantly recovered from the devastating blows, but everything turned for the worse once he stayed close-range and slashed me beyond repair with his butcher-like zanpaktou. My memories didn't become more clear ironically until after he blasted me with a Cero at point-blank range.

I was barely conscious, though I felt Kurosaki's threatening form above me, ready to slash my remains to pieces...however, I then heard a different friend of Inoue's, Ishida, trying to communicate to him that the battle was over...however, I knew already that Kurosaki was unable to understand anything in that state. I heard Inoue cry out as Kurosaki blindly struck Ishida. I woke up more fully and realized that he was about to fire another Cero as Inoue cried and plead with him, to no avail.
I hated hearing her like that...and so I used what little strength I had left to appear behind him and cut up his mask. It shattered and he was finally out of that senseless state. I saw her in that moment before the Cero's blast exploded, her face wrought with worry and fear. I knew I was willing to do whatever it took to erase those horrid emotions from her face.

I watched in silence as Inoue ran to his aid. I knew there was little I could say or do because all I wanted to do was shield her from this horrible experience...but it was useless, for she was among her friends...who were supposed to be my enemies.

When Kurosaki woke up less than minutes later, I insisted to continue fighting him, although I had already admitted aloud that my body had been torn up from the inside...but before I knew it, everything started to dissolve into ashes, and I was unconcerned over it for her sake. I knew I would never be able to forgive myself if I was the sole cause of her tears...not in this life, or the next.

And as my spare wing and body dissolved away, I reached out to her, asking the question I knew only she could understand.

"Do I scare you...woman?" After all I have done, do you still love me...and trust me?...Do you hate me?

She looked at me with sorrow and tenderness, as her eyes brimmed with tears.

"I'm not afraid." I could never hate you... "I'm not afraid," she repeated, and the words soothed me in a way I thought I could never know.

I finally understand

The stirrings of my heart

I never knew I could hear my own heartbeat

And it was because of you from the start

I finally know these feelings

Love's a word I finally understand

Because all this time

Your Heart

Was in My Hands…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hated seeing Ulquiorra torn apart in front of me...I was forbidden to speak of my feelings or even act like I cared what would happen to him...but I nearly lost all my resolve when I saw him dissolving to ash in front of me.

I said what I knew he needed to hear...the last words he would hear...and for the shortest moment when I reached out to him I touched his hand...and then, in mere seconds, it was all over...

Yet somehow, I hold a tiny lingering hope that he may still be alive in some shape or form...and I also hate myself for it. How could I believe this, when I saw him literally dissolve before my eyes?

But the laws of the shinigami and Hollow worlds are far different from that of humans...so I could never say with complete certainty that I truly knew what happened that fateful day.

A few months passed, and life slowly returned to normal after the battle with Aizen was finally won...I couldn't keep myself from thinking of him, and though I did my best to be happy, my real feelings were far different...especially when a year passed since the day Ulquiorra arrived to take me away. For some reason, the anniversary of the day I first met him struck deep chords in my heart, and I clutched at the remaining bracelet he had given me. I kept it with me always, wearing it beneath my clothes, but it always was a bittersweet reminder of the days past...with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One day weeks later, as a volunteer program for school, I worked in a sandwich shop...ironic since I was known for making the strangest foods if left to my own devices. The shop was empty that day, except for one man who walked in.

At first I greeted him like any other customer, and didn't recognize anything...until I saw his long, slightly tousled black hair…his pale, almost white skin, though a shade closer to having color than before...and his piercing green eyes, as he removed his scarf and coat.

There wasn't a trace of anything like a mask on him...yet I knew these features were unmistakable. I didn't know whether to smile or cry...and as he gazed down at me, I'm sure I did both.

Without a word, he reached his arm across the check stand and stroked my hair and my face.

"I knew you would be back one day…"

A trace of a smile crossed his face.

"Tadaima…" and his grip slightly tightened around my face. "You knew all along that I wouldn't go anywhere, didn't you? That's what I meant when I told you...I'm forever yours, Inoue..."

I still wonder to this day...was that day really a dream?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Please tell me again and again

The way you love me

For I could never repeat myself

No matter how many times I told you

I have to have you All To Myself

Your Heart is My Addiction

My only true companion

All I ever Needed

To find my own Heart again…

For no matter what time or space

I'm Forever Yours

My Life is in your hands

Just as your Heart is in mine...
For anyone who knows and loves Bleach, along with the pairing Ulquiorra and Orihime...

This isn't my best writing, but I believe it'll be enjoyable nonetheless.

Please, do not comment criticizing the way this was written or about the couple, this is free speech and I'm sure you can do something else if you can't stand this sort of thing.

Please let me know what you think! And thanks for your support eyeryone. :D

The ending was partly inspired from this video: [link] It's short and sweet and beautiful, I believe.

Bleach and its characters belong to Tite Kubo
© 2011 - 2024 SaffyreNeko
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HandofSorrow31's avatar
This story is phenominal...

I think I'm about to cry.